Do I Understand You?

Do you believe in such thing called friends forever? I do, I consider it is common to believe that there is such friendship that lasts long. It is the friendship that each of the members opens to each other, eager to share his/her life details and more often than not the other members cares, supports and provides comfort to each other. It is more likely at the “I understand you” level, the kind of friendship I always try to develop.

Not until our discussion last night did I find out that my bf did not believe in long-lasting friendship and I might be wrong in always trying to develop forever-friends relationship, too.

He thought that no matter how strong a friendship is, it can be expired due to distance or time. Indeed he had a lot of friends scattered in various places; it was like having reliable information source needed or local guide everywhere you go, which is beneficial to such adventurous person like he is. However, his friendships do not go deep in terms of sharing feelings, it might only be limited at the “I know you” level. His belief was then shaken by a close friend who tried to prove to him that long-lasting friendship does exist and rely on each individual effort to maintain and sometimes revive the relationship. Simple effort does matter, such as saying hello, sending birthday wishes, etc which is good to start a sharing leading to the update of individual live events. So currently, he did keep in touch with few friends which is actually good for him.

In opposite, I admit that recently I find myself facing difficulties to share feelings to my friends here. I assume that we are close; we often hang out together, create events, arrange trips, but I just do not understand them well enough and so I am not moved to share my stories. Another reason is that I learn that sometimes the stories shared are often misappropriated as means to bully story owner. During the bullying session, everyone, even the story owner himself laughs and is amused. Nonetheless, we do not know whether the one we are making jokes at are actually sharing story hoping just to be heard. I personally do not find the bullying session as useful as providing ears to listen or prayers to comfort the story owner. Usually during the bullying session, I sit in silence, laugh occasionally and finally find myself wasting time for an unbeneficial discussion.

And so, while my bf starts to realize there is “I understand you” friendship to be taken care of, I begin to be aware there is that kind of “I know you” friendship where not pretty much feelings is not involved and so be it.

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